Improve Your Relationship

It seems as if creating acknowledged relationships with our cogent others and parenting accouchement are two of the best difficult jobs we face and yet we get no academic training in either. It’s as if bodies accept that we are built-in with an inherent adeptness to do these two things. Yet, attending about us. In the US, the annulment amount is hardly over 50%! I don’t apperceive anywhere but baseball breadth a 50% boilerplate is a acceptable thing.

Couples go through activity accepting forth aback times are good; and angry with, ignoring, or abrogation ceremony added aback things get tough. Best bodies accept that to seek advice with their relationships agency to accept a assertive affectionate of defeat that says article about who they are as a person. Or possibly, they accept that relationships are article we are aloof declared to be able to administer on our own. Or, finally, some bodies accept that those out there allowance couples can’t apperceive any added than they do. After all, what’s to apperceive about befitting relationships together?
Well, the accurateness is that there is a accomplished lot to apprentice aback it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, the alone training best of us anytime accept is the acquiescent acquirements we get through the clay of the adults who alive in our abode with us and the media. Now, I don’t apperceive about you, but my parents had alone accustomed the breezy training they got from their parents, and they from my abundant grandparents and so on aback through the generations. There is so abundant added to apperceive about relationships than that!

Also, my parents accept helped abutment that 50% accomplishment cited beforehand in that they afar ancient about their 25th bells anniversary. What I abstruse about relationships from watching them is that couples never argue, abnormally in advanced of the children. On the surface, my parents had a actual blessed alliance but my ancestor accomplished a academic mid-life crisis and aback questioned the acceptation of “life” and absitively alliance was captivation him aback somehow.

In some ways, this blazon of training may accept been as bad as those who accept parents who altercate all the time. Disagreements are a accustomed by-product of relationships. It is around absurd for two bodies to appear calm and actualize a activity after some of their ideals, values, opinions or circadian activities advancing into battle with ceremony other. The catechism becomes how the brace manages this conflict.
There are abounding things to accede aback speaking about couples and their challenges and areas for advance and development. The aboriginal is compatibility. I apperceive there is an announcement that says opposites allure and I accept there is some accurateness in that account aback you anticipate of allure as that actinic alternation that occurs aback two bodies accommodated and are attracted. This actinic allure doesn’t affliction what the added person’s ethics are, what is important to him or her, the personality characteristics involved, or what either of you brand to do in your additional time. Affinity is a key for a successful, advantageous relationship. Go to www.therelationshipcenter.biz and booty the chargeless Assessment to actuate your affinity with your partner.

A additional application is artlessly that there are above differences in how men are in relationships compared to how women are. Women about don’t accept men because the men don’t act like women and similarly, men don’t accept women because they don’t act like men. And back a woman has never been a man and a man has never been a woman, how does ceremony apprentice about these important differences? John Gray researched and wrote about these issues in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. But I would say that the majority of bodies in relationships don’t booty the time to apprentice about these gender differences. It is easier to point a feel and accusation the added actuality for his or her “irrational” behavior.
As mentioned earlier, a third breadth of advance is acquirements how to administer conflict. There are time accurate methods for absolute battle that we don’t apprentice in academy or from a book. There are means to absolutely apprehend ceremony added in relationships. By agreement the accord FIRST in importance, these methods can be implemented by couples to abundantly advance their satisfaction.

There is so abundant to apprentice about acceptable relationships that your parents never showed you. Please don’t become one of the statistics of annulment or conceivably worse, break in a afflicted accord to account your alliance vows while accepting so abounding abjure about your activity as the time ticks away.

Take allegation and booty ascendancy of your life. Apprentice some new means to advance the accord you are already in or to adapt yourself for actuality a better, bigger accomplice for the abutting actuality in your life. Contact Kim at 708-957-6047 or email at Kim@TheRelationshipCenter.biz about accord apprenticeship or booty one the abounding Teleclasses appointed on the Events Calendar at www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz. Don’t delay until it is too late.

The Right Time To Say "I Love You"

Saying “I love you” for the first time is one of the sweetest things a person can do in his life and hearing it for the first time is one of the best experiences one can have, especially if the feeling is mutual. However, there are risks that are involved in saying “I love you” and if it is not done properly, all will be going down the drain from there.

Timing is one of the most essential elements in expressing one’s love towards another person. Knowing when to express one’s love can seal the deal between two potential lovers.

Here are some things which should be taken into consideration when planning to profess love to another person:

-Readiness

Saying “I love you” will bring a person into new horizons. Most often than not, saying “I love you” entails readiness to enter in a commitment. You profess your love with an assumption that you are ready to take in new challenges and that you are ready share yourself with someone else. The process shouldn’t be done haphazardly.

An assessment of one’s readiness to enter a relationship is a prerequisite to saying “I love you.” Every facet should be taken into consideration since a commitment entails additional time, effort and a decrease in the benefits one gets as a single person.

-Do you really love her?

A careful assessment of one’s feelings should also be done before saying “I love you.” When people date, feelings are often mixed and one feeling can be interpreted as another. Feelings of infatuation, admiration and lust can become synonymous to feelings of love especially when the relationship is in its heat.

One must ask himself if he really loves her a thousand times before professing his love to her. It sounds like a cliché but this must be done so as to avoid making mistakes regarding this matter.

- Consequences

One must weight down the consequences which will be brought by saying “I love you.” There are times when the right thing to do is to say nothing at all. At times, being silent about one’s feelings is a way to manifest true love.

Many people fall in love with married persons. This is a classic example which can be used to describe the importance of weighting the consequences of saying “I love you.” Refraining from saying those three words maybe the right thing to do in this situation.

-Read her thoughts

In saying “I love you,” one must be ready for whatever response that is to be given by the listener. Maybe not all relationships get past the I-love-you stage, but there are relationships which can really benefit from the right timing of saying “I love you.”

If one feels that the feeling is mutual, this is a good sign to continue. But of course, evaluating the girls’ thoughts should be done with complete honesty so as not to force the issue.

-The moment

When all the assessments have been done, it all boils down to timing. If one wishes to say “I love you” to another person, it would be best if he do it in style so as to make a good impression and to show his sincerity in saying it. Several things should be taken into consideration when planning for this moment. The schedule, venue and mood should be set to be able to get the best delivery. Practicing in front of a mirror might seem pathetic but it would definitely help.

-Be ready for her response

Saying “I love you” is a very exciting moment and the risks that it carries add up to its excitement. When someone says “I love you” he must be prepared to take whatever response is given to him. Not all love stories end in happy endings. Think about possible situations which can happen after you say “I love you.” The response can bring utmost happiness or crushing hurt to the person who is professing his love. Be careful and learn to accept her feelings.

Saying “I love you” can be a daunting task. A lot of preparation should be done to be able to get to that specific moment that could lead to a new relationship. Not all things go into plan but no matter how lousy one gets when professing his love, it shouldn’t really matter as long as he’s sincere and he knows what he is doing.

Steps to Help Heal a Broken Heart

 Heartbreak is a pain like any other. It is an emotional pain so bottomless that it can feel like a physical blow. When you have a pain like this one, all you want is for the deep ache to go away. As much as I’d like to advise differently, there is no band aid for a broken heart. Though it sounds cliché, time is the remedy needed for you to truly heal from such a deep, wrenching pain. In time, this pain will go away. Between now and then, however, following a few basic tips might be able to make the difference in how you are feeling.

•     Cry: You are going to feel like rubbish for the first few weeks. Depending how emotional of a person you are, you may feel like crying for days. Go ahead. A significant change has occurred in your life; a painful change. There is no way to expect that you will feel a little sadness and be able to shut it off with a switch. It’s just not that simple. Allow yourself to grieve for your loss. But not too long! Staying in the past for too long can only hurt you. See rule number 4.

•     Talk to Someone Close: Use the shoulder of someone who cares about you to get out your feelings. This is a way to purify your soul by letting someone in to share your pain. Let them listen, comfort you, and offer advice. You don’t necessarily have to take that advice, but sharing this comfort can make you feel better. Make sure you only allow yourself to grieve and lean on someone for a time because you need to move forward.

•     Distract Yourself: Bring friends you care about back into your life. Maybe having the relationship was keeping you from spending time with your parents, or siblings. Maybe you hadn’t talked to your best friend in weeks. Surround yourself with this support network. Getting things that need to be done around the house done is a great way to get lost in a project. Go to the gym. Organize your closet. Get out and take a walk. Distracting yourself is a great stepping stone to moving on with your life. This brings us to rule number 4.

•     Look toward the Future; Forget the Past: Once you have allowed yourself the indulgence of grieving for a part of your life that is now past, look forward! There is a definite need to be able to start a new chapter in the book of your life. Now that you are past the sadness and anger, it is time for hope and renewal that will help you to move on. Take time out for yourself; get to know yourself as a single individual instead of as part of a couple. Replenish your soul by becoming you again.

Following these sometimes difficult, but necessary steps, you can begin to heal the broken pieces of your heart. You can not only become whole again, you can become whatever you wish to become. This is a chance to start fresh, and once the pain starts to ease, you will see it as such an opportunity.

All About Love

How do you know if you’ve ever been in love? Most people would argue that although being in love with someone is non-tangible, there is absolutely no doubt in their mind of it existing. In fact, if you are questioning whether or not you are in love, then you are most certainly not.

While I do not doubt for a second the existence of being in love (albeit being one of those sad individuals yet to experience it), I am somewhat perplexed over our perception of what constitutes humanities most sought after experience.

For me, falling in love with someone is a decision made based on the successful matching of ones own predetermined criteria or preferences.

I fondly refer to the preliminary stage of partner selection as the ‘terminator glasses’ phase, since it filters through a potential mate’s attributes and matches them off against our own unique preferences.

On the New Years Eve just passed I went to meet friends at a bar where we would be celebrating the evening. There, waiting at the door with my friend, I saw HIM for the first time. I did a quick terminator scan:

Height:  Around 6 foot. MATCH.
Build: Not too skinny, not too fat, not too buff. MATCH.
Hair: Short dark brown. Not over the top alla David Beckham. MATCH.
Complexion: Dark olive. MATCH.
Lips: Plump. MATCH.
Smile: Oh my God. MATCH.
Eyes: Big, brown, expressive, with long thick lashes. MATCH!
Stance: Gentle, not cocky. MATCH.
Nationality: Clearly foreign, probably Brazilian. MATCH.

With the terminator glasses still firmly planted on my face, the confirmed Brazilian was permitted to move onto the second part of phase one: interaction. This is often the most fatal part of any potential relationship, since every sentence uttered, every look given, and every movement is put through the filter of the terminator glasses. Any miss-match could lead to premature relationship death. Very little is forgiven during this part, especially if one’s program is set at ‘long term mate’. In saying this, it is also my favorite part of the process as it is the most fun. I see it as a game we both know we’re playing, but refuse to acknowledge as existing. One can withdraw from the game at anytime without repercussion (that is, of course, when both parties are working under the same set of rules. If this is not the case a few unwanted phone numbers are collected, followed by a few awkward conversations. And depending on how weak one is - unwanted dates followed by unwanted kisses, possibly ending in unwanted sex!).

Stage two, ‘the rose coloured glasses’ phase, is extremely dangerous and not usually approached with caution by either candidate. Depending on the impact of stage one, bombs warning ‘relationship doom’ could be dropped right in front of ones eyes, yet getting let go un-noticed. Everything appears and is, invariably, utterly workable. Despite my cynicism, this stage is defiantly more exciting than the terminator phase, albeit being laced with the fear of it all ending. The premature ‘I love you’ could escape ones mouth, falling like a ball onto a roulette table. The stakes are high, but it could also very well pay off and pass you onto stage three. Or not…

Declaring the title of stage three is difficult. And the truth is, I don’t know what to call it because I’m usually making my way to the green exit sign above the fire escape before you can say ‘marry me’.

My experience with stage three is that I usually realize Mr Perfect is human. I resist accepting him just the way he is, and try to point out where he is lacking (he is usually not so open to my constructive criticism. I wonder why?). This of course does not lead him to change his ways, but firmly ground himself in them (and resent me in the process). Love and commitment gets swapped with fear and dependence. Some stay to battle it out to the very end, most head straight for the green exit light.

People claim at this point that they have ‘fallen out of love’. My argument is that they were never in love in the first place. One of my favourite movies, ‘Moulin Rouge’, melodically states, “The greatest thing you will ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return”.  I believe this is what we think being in love is all about.  Yet being loved in return implies that there is a condition to your giving love.  So romantic love is conditional love. If romantic love only goes one-way, it is termed unrequited love or even ‘desperate’.

What if I said that true love can only be unconditional?  And inside of that, true love can only mean 100% acceptance of the subject, just the way they are and just the way they’re not. What if love, real love, is just loving?

Rules for a Successful Date

Dating is a necessary part of finding the perfect match for you. Its a selection process, that needs to  befollowed with some type of an idea of how to handle yourself.

The easiest way to meet women is to be approachable and make new friends. This way you will meet more people and some of them might have female friends they will set you up with. You will be exposed to new places and activities, which might lead to meeting women.

There are guys that know how to date, guys that haven't dated in years, or others that has never been successful with women. Whatever the case, they all should follow some common rules for to have a successful date.

Finally you have a date with the beautiful girl you look after for some good time and she never seen you before. But, the miracle happened and you have the chance to meet her and impress her at a date. So, to not fail in you date watch out these important dating rules.

1. Try to look your best and be punctual on dates. Get your hygiene and stiling sorted out. Most women prefer smartly dressed guys. Not over the top, at the height of fashion, but cleanly turned out in suitable clothes.  So your appearance can be vital.

Never be late for a date unless you have a very good reason. Women don't like to be kept waiting even less for a man .

2. Sort out your job if is one you are proud of and get your knowledge levels up. Most women love a guy to show that he can be in charge. So you should have every little detail taken care of and organized. It shows that you are capable, and attentive, qualities much sought after in a potential mate.

3. Pay attention to her. Be interested , stop talking and start listening. You are on a date with her to get to know each other, use that time effectively, to find out as much about each other as possible. Give her your undivided attention. Ask  about her, show interest  in her. Everyone loves to talk about themselves, her included. Allow her to talk, and then listen. This is one of the greatest compliments you can give another
person.  Also you should watch the details, nothing shows better that   you are a sensitive, caring man that try all to make her feel comfortable on date.

4. Flatter and compliment your date on the way she look and how she is dressed. She made a lot of effort for to look wonderful on your date. So, it's good for her to hear that she looks good and is beautiful.

5. Have fun when dating to create a  happy atmosphere so your partner to not get bored. It is very important that she feel good so maybe you will get a second date.

6. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

7. Never date a married person because she would not leave her husband for you and you will be for her just a shoulder  to cry on. This types of date are  based only on lies.

8. Be confident. Confidence can open many doors for you. When you are confident she will have more trust in you and your abilities.

The most importing thing at all on date is to be your self. Thats because after the date there will be ordinary days to come  and it have never paid to play someone youre not on the date. The best thing to do is to show the other person right from the beginning what kind of man you are or it will never work.

You Love Them Because They're Funny!

For years I heard woman after woman say after obviously falling in love, "He's so funny! I just love that about him."

Often after someone has lost a family member, they'll say "I'll always remember her smile, the way she laughed, the little jokes she would tell to lighten the mood."

Could it be we love people who have a great sense of humor? I've always thought so. And now we have scientific proof of what many of us long suspected. Humor is one of the things we enjoy most about life and, frequently, the people we love are the ones who make us smile.

Fortunately for those of us who probably aren't that funny, humor is most often in the eye of the beholder. The guys at work may not laugh at your wise cracks, but if SHE laughs, well that's all that matters.

For a long time, nobody in the scientific world knew much about humor. But during the past 20 years, more and more research has been done. We know what parts of our brains deal with humor. We also know when a baby starts to develop a sense of humor.

So don't hesitate. Let your funny bone show through!

* When you think something is funny, don't be afraid to let it out. Just think first if your remark might be taken the wrong way by those in earshot. Humor is great -- foot-in-mouth is less great.

* Use humor to ease uncomfortable situations. When the mood starts to get tense, an appropriate chuckle and humorous side remark can get everyone back on track.

* If you're not naturally funny, read cartoons, joke books, the laugh lines at the back of Reader's Digest, and pay attention to how script writers set up funny situations on TV. You CAN learn to be more humorous than you are. Pay attention to humor and your sense of humor will develop.

Above all else, be someone who APPRECIATES humor. Try not to make someone feel bad when you don't find their attempt at humor to be all that funny. As long as the humor isn't in grossly poor taste, give your humorist a smile. And be one who isn't afraid to chortle and guffaw when someone really pushes your funny button. A good laugh can be the best medicine you've had all day.